Everyone ultimately wants to find happiness. While most people are searching for this, many people struggle to find it. However, happiness doesn’t always make us feel happy.
It is impossible to think that happiness is being happy and upbeat every moment of every day. That is unrealistic. Those who have found happiness have different answers to what makes them happy, but ultimately they followed these four steps and found a purpose in their life.
Gretchen Rubin has studied happiness and wrote numerous books on the topic. In her findings, she found four simple steps to live a happier life.
1.Think about what makes you feel good.
Everyone wants to have love, enthusiasm, build curiosity, and to have challenges to meet. Notice what things in your life support these needs. Once you find them, make sure you find the time to engage in them often to fill you up with joy more often.
2. Think about what makes you feel bad.
What makes you feel angry, guilty, or resentful? Essentially we want to feel good instead of bad. However, it is important to be aware of the signs of what makes us feel bad. These areas are important indicators for areas of change. For example; if you are feeling guilty about something maybe it’s because you know deep down it’s something you shouldn’t do that goes against your values. Notice what makes you feel bad and commit to changing in these areas.
3. Think about what makes you feel right.
This can be complicated because although it may feel right, it doesn’t necessarily always feel good. Things feel right when we choose to live up to our values, which sometimes makes us do things we may not want to do. For example, I do not like getting up early to go work out. Most mornings I struggle, but the reason I do it is not that I’m filled with joy when I roll out of my bed at 4:40 am, but it makes me feel right to complete my workout early in the morning so that I have more time later in the day. I feel right because I upheld my values.
4. Choose an atmosphere of growth.
We feel best when we are learning something or challenging ourselves. We want to push ourselves forward and help others, which fill us up with growth. It doesn’t always need to be growth in ourselves, but it also can be choosing to make growth in the world. This can be an engine of happiness that is very much in our control. Find ways to learn new skills, expand your mind, or serve others to the best of your abilities.
Keep in mind that everyone has a different definition of happiness and it’ll look different from person to person. On your road to finding happiness focus on these four steps and keep following what makes you feel good, change what makes you feel bad, continue to do what feels right, and surround yourself in an atmosphere of growth.
Read more about happiness in Gretchen Rubin’s book The Happiness Project, which is not just a book, but a movement.