When I got married in October I realized afterward that throwing a successful and effective wedding is similar to that of a strong team. It takes many hands on deck, a lot of cooperative, effective communication, and clear expectations on role identification and role ownership.
In order for my wedding to run smoothly, I needed a strong team of individuals that consisted of family and friends who were all on the same page for what the ultimate goal was: which was for me to marry my future husband. Like sports teams, the end goal may be to win the game, but they may have to take different paths and turns in order to reach that end goal. My wedding was no different. There were definitely some bumps in the road and setbacks along the way, but I had to stay focused and remind myself and my team that as long as I married Cody by the end of the day, we were successful. Keeping your eyes on the prize and staying focused on the end goal helps you overcome setbacks and bumps that you may encounter.
Another key component that is important for teams that I had to do myself throughout my wedding plan and day was to trust the process. I had to trust that all of the preparation I put in leading up to the day was enough to allow the day to run as smoothly as possible. I had to trust my family, friends, and vendors to do their part and to be able to figure it out without me if something went awry. I had to focus on what was in my control rather than what wasn’t in my control.
For example, the night before my wedding I had my wedding rehearsal. When we arrived we found out that the deacon who I’ve been communicating with up until the wedding was actually on vacation and would not be marrying us. Instead, a pastor who I have never met or spoke to was marrying us. He was definitely not prepared. He didn’t know anything about my husband and me or about the layout we had planned and created with the deacon. I had different options for how I could have reacted to this. I could have become very upset with the whole ordeal and let it ruin my rehearsal, or I could be resilient, hold my head high, and figure out with my wedding party how to get the rehearsal done to the best of our abilities in the hour that we had. I had to hope, even though we did not get a lot done in that hour, that everyone knew the plan going forward and that on the day of we would execute the ceremony the best we can. Again I reminded myself, my goal was to marry the man of my dreams. It may not go the way I originally envisioned, but we still were on the path to reach that goal. My response was in my control at that moment. What was also in my control was how I explained everything to my wedding party and the pastor about what the plan was.
The big day came and everyone got into position for their parts. I had a schedule for the ladies to get their hair and makeup done, my makeup artist and hairstylists knew what time to show up and where, and all of the guys had information on when to get ready. I had to take a deep breath, focus on myself, and enjoy the day by being in the moment while everyone else did their part.
My team ended up doing a wonderful job. Everyone owned their parts exceptionally well, and when there were hiccups, they were able to figure it out, without bringing me into it. Because of this, I was able to have a stress free wedding day – which was by far the best day of my life so far. 🙂
Sports teams work the same way. You can only control what YOU do, and you have to trust that everyone else on your team knows their part and that they can and will do their part. If something doesn’t go well – oh well. It’s not in your control. Just like when the pastor referred to my husband Cody as Cory several times throughout the ceremony until he corrected it. It’s something we now can laugh back on. You need to trust the process, trust your team, and focus on whatever is going on in the present moment.
As they say, it often takes a village and there is no way my day would be as amazing as it was without my strong and powerful village.
