Yearly Archives: 2018

Goals + Plan = Success.

Since my recent blog post discussed process goals over outcome goals with a fun activity, I wanted to stick to the topic of goals again and expand further.  How else can we explain what process goals are and how valuable they are to get us to our outcome goal?

I think of process and outcome goals similar to taking a road trip. Let’s say we are about to embark on a road trip from Florida to Minnesota, just like my friend Cassie and I did after working at IMG Academy a couple summers ago.

Imagine that we have everything packed ready to hit the road. What’s the first thing we do once we are in the car? (Besides stopping for snacks; Twizzlers anyone?)

We start up our GPS! Unless you use an actual map, then props to you.

What if though, we tried to get to Minnesota without any sense of direction or GPS? How efficient would that trip be? We might eventually get to our destination, but it might take a lot longer.

That’s what living life, working your job, participating in a sport, or coaching is like without a goal. You lose your sense of direction!

It’s important that you know where you are going.

In this scenario, Minnesota is our outcome goals since that’s our final destination. But, how are we going to get there? Process goals build you towards your outcome goal, just like each turn your GPS tells you to take. They are milestones that keep you moving forward. Instead of focusing on the outcome or the destination we need to focus on one thing or one turn at a time and figure out what we need to do in order to reach our outcome goal.

The road trip to Minnesota will be much smoother if we follow the GPS and take it one turn at a time. The journey to your outcome goal will also be much smoother and appear more simple if you focus on the process and take it one process goal at a time.

Remember, Goals + Plan = Success

Get ready to start up your GPS!

I recently worked with a team regarding goal-setting. I know, discussing goals isn’t fun and sometimes may seem like a chore for many athletes and teams.

How can we add some fun in teaching goal-setting though?

What I like to do is lead an activity with cups and pennies to differentiate process vs. outcome goals.
What is the difference between the two? An outcome goal is the end result that you want to achieve, while process goals are regarding the process needed to meet the end result. In the world of sports, a lot of pressure and attention is focused on the end result. Maybe your goal is simply to win, run a certain time, score a number of goals, etc. These are all outcome goals. Process goals are what you want to achieve throughout the process of getting to your outcome goal.

For example, say your outcome goal is to win your upcoming game. Well, how are you going to win? Process goals break it down further and have you focus on what you need to do in order to win and reach that outcome goal. If you’re a forward in soccer your process goals may be to put in your best effort, call out who your mark is, set up your teammates with strong passes, win the ball as often as possible, and to hydrate properly. The awesome thing about process goals is that if you place more attention and focus on meeting them you are more likely to meet your outcome goals.

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Goal-Setting Cup Activity: See the video clip above

Materials: 3 red solo cups & a handful of pennies per group

Directions: Place one cup a few feet away from the group. Each person attempts to toss three pennies into the cup. After everyone has gone, see who has made one, two, or three pennies. For round two keep the cup in the same place but place the other two cups in a line towards the person throwing. Now each person attempts to toss the three pennies, but the first one is aimed at the first cup. Once they make it in the first cup they can then aim for the second cup, and then the final cup.

Debrief: Ask who made the first cup, second cup, and all 3. How was the second round different than the first? Who found it easier? What made the second round easier?

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Every time I do this activity most of the athletes find it easier to make the final cup in the second round compared to the first round.

Why is that? Well…

1) You’re building confidence:

Each time you make a cup your confidence grows and your belief that you can make the next cup increases. This happens each time we meet a goal, no matter how small! After we make a goal we are more confident that we can reach the next one.

2) It seems easier and less stressful:

After moving the cups closer they seem easier and less stressful to make. After you make them the last cup doesn’t seem as far away anymore. This is how we feel about our goals! If we focus on the outcome it can feel so far away and impossible. If we focus on process goals that don’t seem as stressful we can build up to our final goal and it’ll seem easier to reach.

3) You’re building momentum:

After you’ve met a process goal, the next process goal doesn’t seem as far away as mentioned earlier. With each goal you reach, you increase your motivation and build momentum to reach the next goal. Similar to the cup activity; once you’ve made the first cup, your confidence increases and you are more determined to reach the next one. Once you’ve made the second cup you have more momentum to make the last cup. This momentum pushes you to continue chasing after your goals and to not give up.

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Whether you’re a coach, sport psychology professional, teacher, athlete, student, or an everyday exerciser focusing on meeting your process goals will make your outcome goals more manageable.

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“BEEP BEEP BEEP,”

Your alarm goes off yet again. You’re feeling exhausted, unable to open your eyes. Rolling over your fingers hit the snooze button instantly, it’s a reflex by now.

As you roll over and lay back down to fall asleep your inner dialogue begins the usual debate every morning you set your alarm to get up and work out.

“You need more sleep.”
“No, get up!”
“Your body could use the rest.”
“No it doesn’t, you’ve been slacking too much.”
“But my bed is so warm and cozy.”
“You know you’ll be upset with yourself if you don’t get up.”
“I could work out later.”
“You always say that, but you know you never do.”

All of this back and forth conversation is essentially wasting time where you could be getting up and forcing yourself out the door to workout OR even going back to sleep.

I know I have this inner dialogue battle with myself, especially when for my 5 am workouts. The colder and darker the mornings become, the harder it is, especially With fall approaching. If you struggle with this inner dialogue battle as well below are 4 tips and tricks to continue or start your habit of waking up to your alarm clock, getting out of bed, and hitting the gym.

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1) BE PREPARED.

~ Make sure that you are well prepared so that you do not have any reason to climb back into bed. Have your workout clothes set beside your bed ready to be thrown on, or better yet go to bed in the clothes you want to work out in! I often do this and it serves as a reminder to get my butt out of bed because otherwise if I sleep in I wake up in my workout clothes and the guilt creeps in.

~ If you are like me and need your coffee in the morning, set it to auto brew so that as soon as you wake up your coffee is fresh and hot for you to drink a cup or fill up a mug on your way out the door. This saves a lot of time and assists me in getting up knowing that I have my hot coffee waiting for me.

~ Know what workout you’re going to do beforehand. When you wake up your mind can be groggy and having to decide on a workout is hard to do. If you have it prepared and ready to go from the night before it’ll take less mental strength that you can save throughout the workout.

2) CREATE AFFIRMATIONS.

~ These powerful and positive statements will help you battle the negative self-talk. Write out affirmations such as, “You Got This!” “You Have Goals.” “Win the Day” to serve as reminders to get up and win your morning the best you can. It’ll boost your motivation and provide statements to overcome the other thoughts that are tempting you to stay in bed.

~ Memorize self-affirmations so that when the negative self-talk kicks in you can talk back to it in your mind. Repeat these statements over and over until it is powerful enough to get you up and moving.

3) CHANGE/MOVE YOUR ALARM.

~ I recently have been struggling to get up and created a bad habit of shutting off my alarm instantly without thinking. I realized that the alarm sound just wasn’t doing it for me. I listened to several other options and decided on a different alarm that is longer and starts off quietly while gradually getting louder so that I am not jolted awake in annoyance and attempt to turn it off right away. This way I wake up more slowly and relaxed to start off my day.

~ Mornings that I can’t risk sleeping in, such as when I teach a morning class, I will also set my alarm on my Fitbit tracker. I love doing this because my tracker will vibrate on my wrist, which is a for sure way to wake me up.

~ Move your alarm clock/phone across the room. This will force you to get up and move if you want to snooze your alarm and sleep in. 9 times out of 10 when this happens I end up staying up since I already am out of bed and am less likely to crawl back into bed.

4) REWARD YOURSELF.

~ I recently read the book The Power of Habit and it discusses the habit loop, which is how habits are created. First, there’s a cue that causes you to follow through with your routine then you receive your reward. If your habit is to hit the snooze button and not get out of bed, figure out what reward you are getting from that routine. Whatever the reward is you have to provide the same reward when you do your new routine in order for it to stick. Maybe the reward is more sleep or being able to have a relaxing morning. To change your habit to working out in the morning and to gain the same reward maybe you need to go to bed earlier to get more sleep, or workout early enough where you have time afterward to relax and watch the news, read, or whatever it is you want to do. Identify the reward of snoozing your alarm and make sure you reward yourself after your new routine.

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Remember to show self-compassion as well.

There will be days that you won’t get up and that you need more sleep. Recovery is important as well. Some weeks you’ll rock at getting up and working out, others may be a struggle.

Just remember that each morning is a new chance to win the day. Do your best to stick with your new routine and it’ll become a habit sooner than you know!

If you coach your child in athletics, you know from experience the added struggles and stress that go along with that dual-relationship.

There are many highlights such as being able to see your child improve, being there for them at practices and games, and seeing them interact with their peers in a way you might not otherwise be able to witness. A study by Weiss & Fretwell, 2005 concluded that in youth soccer coaching your child was found to be beneficial for the parent as well as the child.

Although there can be many added benefits to coaching your child, there are also challenges, arguments, and difficulties; especially as they get older. Poor practices and games are carried home to the dinner table, the child might become upset with the parent’s coaching style and not want to speak to them, or the parent provides either too much attention or not enough attention at practice to either be harder on the child or to not seem like they are providing an unfair amount of attention to their child for the other player’s sake.

Youth sports thrive because parents offer to coach. The problem is that some athletes put a lot of pressure on themselves to perform well for their coach, as well as their family members who support them and watch them compete. When an athletes’ parent is also their coach, the athlete adds more pressure on themselves to succeed because letting their coach down means also letting down a parent. The idea of failure becomes even scarier.

Not only does the coaching parent see the athlete as their player, but they also see their child. What parent doesn’t want their child to succeed? So, maybe as a coach you become harder on the athlete who is your child, out of love. Or out of fairness so that the other players don’t feel like you are giving your child preferential treatment. As a coaching parent it seems like the correct choice, but in reality, it may be driving a wedge in the relationship with your child.

The issue here is that the child may feel their coach/parent is treating them unfairly and is hurt by the higher expectations and feel they can never measure up. This disrupts their confidence in their abilities, jealousy and resentment towards you and their teammates for how their coach/parent is treating others, and comparison of other players (which is never healthy).

If you are a parent/coach you probably can relate to many of the above scenarios. Practice bleeds into home life and there can become a drift or a wedge between you and your child. You are trying to do what you think is best for them, and you aren’t faulted in that! There are, however, different strategies that you can implement to help your child differentiate seeing you from coach and parent.

Here are some examples:

1) Establish expectations and boundaries.

Before you decide to coach your child have a discussion about what it will look like or what will be expected. Tell your child your role as the coach and the specific boundaries that will happen so that neither you nor your child will be confused about your role as coach and how that will change the dynamic of your relationship during practices and games.

2) Have your child tell you if they need you to be their coach or parent.

Let them know that you are going to allow them to tell you if they want to be talking to you as their parent or as their coach. Do not make that decision for them. There will be times that the coach role is more appropriate (like in games and practice) and times the parent role is more appropriate (like at home or after games.) Let your child tell you if they want to process practice or a game with you instead of your choosing.

3) At home, leave the sport-talk and coaching to a bare minimum.

Instead of bringing up practice drill or critiques at the dinner table or whenever you want to discuss it, tell your child that you will try your best to not bring up discussions about practice unless your child wants to. This will provide your child a “safe place” to avoid being criticized and instead be able to unwind and discuss other topics besides practice and games.

4) Emphasize to your child what role you are coming from.

When you are discussing something with your child tell them what role you are in. Sometimes the child may not know and if you are critiquing them at practice they might see you in the parent lens and become frustrated and upset. If you pull them aside and tell them you are coming from the coach role they will more likely to listen and manage their emotions.

5) Wear or do something to assist your child in perceiving you in each role.

There will be times that you might tell the child what role you are coming from and do everything the best you can to differentiate the two different roles for your child and it still falls flat. At times it is best to wear something that will help the child visually see you different, thus seeing you in each role. For example one of my mentors wore a hat with his kid when he was the coach but took it off when he was parenting. When you are speaking from the coach role put the hat on and take it off when you are speaking from the parent role. This visual will help your child differentiate what role they are seeing you from.

6) At practice, give them some space.

Sometimes your child simply does not want to be critiqued by you at all. As a parent, this is challenging because you want the best for your child and you want them to improve. From a coaching standpoint, this is also frustrating because you want to provide feedback openly to your players. In order to preserve the relationship with your child at home, it might be best at times to allow your assistant coach to be the main coach or person to deliver feedback to your child instead of you. Or another thing you can do is tell your child, “Hey I noticed something that will help you with that drill, let me know if you want to hear it.” This way you are still being the coach and providing feedback, but you are giving your child the autonomy to choose whether or not they want to hear and apply it.

7) Remind them that you love them and you enjoy watching them play, regardless of the outcome.

There will be days after practice and games that your child might become upset with you and not want to talk to you. It happens no matter what you do at times. Your child is putting added pressure on themselves by having their parent be the coach and they feel terrible if they do not meet your expectations. This is when you need to lower the expectations and remind them that even though you are their coach, you are their parent first. This means that no matter how they play you love them just the same. Tell them that what brings you the most joy is being able to watch them play, not the outcome of the game.

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If you are still wondering whether or not you should coach your child, read more about the pros and cons here.

Weiss, M. R., & Fretwell, S. D. (2005). The parent-coach/child-athlete relationship in youth sport:
Cordial, contentious, or conundrum? Research Quarterly for Exercise and Sport, 76 (3), 286-305.

Recently I signed up for a half marathon and was worried about training and running this one alone. After the tragedy that occurred to Mollie Tibbetts, I am infuriated that women now may be running scared. Yes, we should take precautions when heading out the door but we tend to think, just as I do, “That would never happen to me.” We may live in small and safe communities, but it saddens me that safe and secure is not guaranteed. We should be able to run in safety and run fearlessly, but that’s not the world we live in.

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As a runner myself, there are days that are extremely hot and I am more comfortable running in spandex and a sports bra. Does that give you the right to hoot and holler at me? Absolutely Not. When you see runners wearing clothing like I mentioned it is NOT because they want attention, which many tend to think, which is very ignorant. It is because they are comfortable in that. I’m sorry, I will not change what I wear during my runs to keep others and their nasty comments to themselves. I, just like any other runner, should have the right to run in whatever we are comfortable in.

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I have heard people say, “Well maybe you should wear more clothes if you don’t want to be hollered at, followed, or abducted.” This is what is wrong with our society. We take the blame off of the perpetrators and we blame the victim. We should all have the right to work out in whatever we damn well please and not be bothered. People in our society are focusing on the wrong things and we need to educate people at a young age that we need to respect others with our words and actions and not view others as a piece of meat or something that they can disrespect. Next time you see someone running in spandex and a sports bra, leggings and a tank top, sweatshirt and shorts, or whatever it may be, leave them alone. Allow them to finish their workout uninterrupted and unbothered by you and your derogatory comments and actions.

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What happened to Mollie is terrible and terrifying. This fear will not stop me though from running, neither should you let it. I will keep lacing up my shoes and pushing my limits outside. I will now run this half marathon for Mollie and mark my training runs as #MilesForMollie. I will though be more cautious during my runs and be ready to put up a fight to anyone who attempts to interrupt my passion not only for myself but for Mollie and any other runner who has been assaulted or harassed.

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Continue to run those miles! If you want more information on the #MilesForMollie movement read more here.