Did you take the time to watch the ESPYS?
Well, I didn’t, but I watched the highlights later on. If you did not watch them, like me, I highly encourage you to take the ten minutes to watch the clip from when 114 ‘Sister Survivors’ took the stage to receive the Arthur Ashe Courage Award.
The 2018 ESPYS took the time to honor the survivors who were sexually assaulted and abused by who they believed to be a trusted Doctor. I am not going to mention the Doctor’s’ name, he doesn’t deserve to have his name mentioned because this post is not about him. It’s about the strong survivors.
(If you want to know his name and don’t yet, a quick google search will pull it up right away.)
265 Women. Girls. Athletes. Mothers. Daughters. Sisters.
I read an article that mentioned there were 265 women sexually abused. 265! That’s a lot of lives affected by something that they should have NEVER had to experience. In the video, as the sister survivors take the stage you feel chills. You feel chills from their anger that something so volatile happened to them, you feel chills from their pain that is so unimaginable, you feel chills from their courage that all of these women demonstrated, you feel chills from their strength when they walk together as a unified team of 114 women warriors to accept an award they all deserve, but shouldn’t have had to endure.
There are many feelings that you will experience as you watch the video. These strong and powerful women spoke up several times in the past about their abuser.
1997
1998
1999
2000
2004
2011
2013
2014
2015
2016
These were the years that reports were made. These were the years that girls and women spoke out to have their voices heard. These were the years they attempted to tell their stories. These were the years that nothing happened. No one listened or acted upon what they told them, yet they pursued telling their stories and speaking up anyways.
This message is powerful and inspiring. Yes, it is daunting and terrible that this abuse went on for over 30 years until something was done. But the other side of the coin is that eventually something was done. It’s a reminder to NEVER give up. Overtime something will happen, something will be done. We need to keep fighting and continue to pursue in telling our stories.
I am beyond thankful to each and every one of these women. I am also sick to my stomach at what they had to endure. They spoke up not only for themselves but for tons of other girls and women who did not or could not speak up. It’s way harder than you think. If you speak up you risk people not believing you and your entire life being scrutinized and judged upon. You risk a harsh backlash that could happen. This is why so many people do not speak up. This is why I did not speak up to authorities when I was sexually abused. I was scared and ashamed, just like so many other victims.
It happens more often than we would like to believe.
As coaches, parents, brothers, sisters, friends, teammates, and other professionals we need to listen, believe, and act accordingly to keep youth athletes, college students, and children safe. It’s up to us. If they shared their story with you, they did their part. Now you and I need to do ours. Don’t let their stories fall on deaf ears. Protect them and do your best and your part to keep them safe.
It’s our job and duty to use this tragedy as an example and reminder to stop placing money and medals above the safety of kids and athletes. Enough is enough.
Thank you to all of the sister survivors for this reminder, for this lesson, and for making other victims feel less alone.
Your story deserves to be heard. Your voice has power. Use it and tell your story.