My nephew started wrestling this year for his first time; he is 5 years old. I figured that his wrestling matches would be a bunch of little kids running around on the mat attempting to wrestle each other. I was shocked to discover that my nephew is actually pretty far behind many of the other kids around his age in experience. Several of the other wrestlers have been wrestling for a few years and have developed their skills at a faster rate than the other kids.
He was becoming frustrated and putting a lot of pressure on himself at such a young age. He continued to lose match after match and was becoming distraught. My sister (his mom) called me and told me how she was nervous for his next match because he had lost his previous matches and was so upset afterwards that he started to cry. He would tell her that he is the worst wrestler and that he will never win.
Why is it that the outcome has become so important at such a young age? Why is that so many young athletes are specializing and taking a sport seriously so early on?
Youth sports have been getting more competitive over the years. Children are starting to specialize at even younger ages; even though the research has demonstrated how that can lead to burnout and not developing transferrable skills essential to the youth athlete.
Let go back to what research has shown to be the top reasons youth athletes engage in sport:
1) Have Fun
2) Learn New Skills
3) Make Friends
Studies have shown repeatedly that the number one reason kids play sports is because of ENJOYMENT. If you are a parent or a coach ask yourself this:
Is your child/athlete having fun?
Are they enjoying the sport?
Are they developing new skills?
And lastly, are they making friends?
Your child/athlete will be less likely to drop out of sport if all three core fundamental aspects are met.
In my nephew’s case, he LOVES the sport. My sister has asked if he wants to quit after he cries about losing a match. She hates seeing how frustrated he is after wrestling. He tells her that he doesn’t want to quit. He wants to keep going because he ENJOYS the sport and he is developing new skills.
This video is from one of his first matches; observe how he moves along the mat and competes.
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Now this video is from his match after he lost several matches in a row. He walked onto the mat with confidence and with a passion for the sport. He spent time and energy improving his skills and look at the difference it has already made.
He had a total of 5 matches that day. He walked away winning 4 and losing the last one. He held his head up high and was awarded a trophy for second place. He couldn’t stop telling me about how he approached each match and how thrilled he was with performance. This is what youth sport is about. Challenging youth to work hard, learn new skills, and most importantly to ENJOY what they are doing.
This post is not saying whether youth should specialize or not. It’s also not suggesting when you should have your child start taking sport seriously. What it IS about is a reminder to parents, coaches, and consultants to remember why children play sports and to enhance their experience to the best of our abilities. We want them to get all of the positive attributes that sport can provide for them such as grit, teamwork, confidence, resiliency, perseverance, goal setting, leadership skills, developing healthy habits, coordination, strength, and learning how to win AND how to lose. Communicate with your kids and try your best to provide the opportunities that THEY want.
